You're a serial-killer on the loose!

When we were together, I thought I was special to be your girl. You lavished me in love I didn't think possible. You suffocated me in reverse. Took away my breath when you went away. My first reaction was not to trust a person that gave them self away so quickly, but I didn't want to be that non-believer and I gave in and trusted you. My heart had been broken ages ago and I had to let that damage go. But, real heartbreak never fully disappears, it just shrinks down to a size that fits in a file. In this system of threat/non-threat, I can pull the folder out and reminisce for a while about how I got duped again.

You were careless with your "heart" and gave it to me like a scene from a sappy movie. I was in ecstasy when you handed me that silver pressed heart coin and told me that you'd been saving it for someone special to give your heart to. I carried that sweet token of cheese around with me everywhere for the better part of 4 months. You were even more careless with my heart for it was just a place-marker. You made me feel special, but I could have been anyone, you were just ready to feel something and I was there to make it happen.

The corpse isn't even cold yet but you have already moved on to another warm body. You didn't wait a week before you leaped into another woman's space. You didn't honor anything we had or mourn it in any way. Meanwhile, I cried for a month's time. I have the wrinkles under my eyes to prove it and you have a new girlfriend.

By the end of our relationship, you didn't want to do anything nice for me. You wanted to bind me quite literally and not look into my face. It was tragic how you shamed me as I was looking for a position and you wanted to go shopping but not in front of me so you asked me to meet you outside. It was a complete 180 from your honeymoon generosity. You took me to the grocery store so I could buy necessary items. I wanted to cook for you, but you wanted to sit outside and avoid anything domestic with me. You brought over your computer to steal my music but I didn't make time for that. I had nothing else to give but my love and that you used up in a span of a season.

You thanked me for opening your heart, for showing you how love felt, but it was all an illusion like your warmth. I thought you were warm and kind but you are cold and cruel and full of crap. After my month of heartache, I just wanted to let it go and be friends. I missed you because you left a void. I called you because I wanted to see if we could actually be friends, I also wanted to give you back that stupid coin. I wanted you to have your heart, I didn't want it anymore and I didn't think it was right to toss it. I'm so glad I called first, because I saved myself the public humiliation I might have endured to see you with another. I wanted to hear you missed me but you never missed me, you just replaced me. I wanted to be your friend but you're sick. You don't even know who your friends are. I was your friend and look what you did to me.

From one girl to the next, you're not just a serial-monogamist, you're a serial-killer on the loose! You killed your wife, then you killed me and now you're on to your next victim. What you really need is time to be alone with yourself but that would make you confront the lack of yourself and that is something you have never done. Your alcoholic tendencies amounted to a poor escape, but you gave that up and now you use people to avoid your demons. What you really need is years and years of therapy. Hey killer, I'm the living dead and I limp about without a heart. But, I know the truth and I want it back. I want every moment I gave to you back. Whoever said that crap about love and loss and losing is a dead sophomoric moron.