Last week was rough. I went through a break-up, Whatever... Anyway, we're not together and it really sucks. Then, I got a job and I didn't really want to take it because it may ultimately make me move back to Manhattan and I've come to love where I live in Brooklyn. Also, I'm having trouble being happy about finally securing a teaching position because the person who was there for me through the Fellowship training and job seeking process is no longer around. Then, I sprained my ankle while I was out celebrating getting a job with the Fellows.
All ten of the Fellows that came out to have drinks had landed teaching positions. So, before the chaos of our new professional lives began, we took some time to enjoy ourselves. We went to the Alligator Lounge in Williamsburg where you get a free personal pizza with every drink. Its a great spot if you're on a budget or not. On Thursdays, there is a hipster karaoke in the backroom and although I kind of dislike karaoke, hipster karaoke is hilarious and so several of us decided to sing. Imagine Hipsters singing Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys and current popular hits like Lady Gaga. It's really entertaining!
It was such a fun night that as I was walking from the back to the front room, I didn't notice the step and twisted my ankle pretty bad. It grew increasingly painful and so I asked one of my friends to help me get home. Luckily, she lives a block away, so it wasn't too much of an imposition. They got me up the stairs, put some ice on on foot and I really thought I would wake up the next day feeling OK. I was scheduled to have professional development (orientation) for the new teaching job the next day, but when I woke up early in the morning, I discovered that I couldn't put in any weight on my foot. I couldn't walk and it was pretty much impossible for me to get to my school. So, I had to call in. What kind of bum luck timing is it that I finally have a job and I had to tell my principal and assistant principal that I had to go to the emergency room instead?!?!
Beacuse of the circumstances, I had to wake up my roommate to ask him for cash so I could take a cab to the hospital. He didn't have cash, but he was nice enough to go get some cash and then go back to bed. I limped down to the car service and went to the ER by myself. It was horrendous as expected and given the week the that I had had. I could not have felt more defeated and alone as I did at Woodhull State Hospital. Ironically, I was just a few days away from having health insurance, but at that time I didn't, so I had to suck it up and go to the state hospital and hope that they don't bill me later. It was just a sprain, but I couldn't risk not knowing if it was fractured or not and then it getting worse over the Labor Day weekend and then not being able to report on my first day of school which is now tomorrow!
And to make matters worse, I caught a cold at the hospital. For God's sakes, enough already! I've been resting, icing and elevating my foot for almost 4 days now and although its still pretty painful, I know I can make it through the work week because I took it easy and canceled several plans with friends because I couldn't risk not healing enough. Unfortunately, I've had way too much time to think. I've thought about what a crazy week I just had and wonder what will happen next. When will my luck change? Will my love return to me? Will I be a good teacher or a mess like I've been for the past few weeks?
It's Labor Day today, the day before the NYC teachers start school and two days before students start the semester and I don't know what to do until I meet my co-teachers tomorrow. My uncle's partner had a colostomy bag put in this week, which is way worse than my shit, but I have been feeling so blue and couldn't bear the thought of faking happiness to call him. I suck! Today, my only living grandmother turns 92 and I'm going to call her and hope that I get voicemail instead of my mother.
Also today, I've finally healed enough to walk down my street. Well, I limped and there was an oppressive amount of pity from the people who are used to seeing the fast walking me everyday. They were kind and told me to go rest and feel better. I've been lying down with my foot up in an emotional and physical tunnel feeling intensely alone and obsessing about loss and misery. So, let me tell you... stopping to talk to the local badass drag queen, Mahogany, on the street was the highlight of the last 3 days! How sad is that?! I'm still trying to be strong, but the devil got the best of me and I sent a text message that I shouldn't have. I knew better and didn't get a response. Now, I'm here with my foot on ice and I should be excited about the new school year that starts in a minute, but instead I hate myself. This week has got to be better!
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