You'll do.

(Disclaimer before this slam: I'm not a-man hater, in fact, I love men more than I should. But on the other hand, I'm getting smarter and I can call bullshit faster than ever before! This poem is dedicated to all the selfish guys I've "dated" recently. Warning: Just because there are more woman in this city than men doesn't mean we're not onto you. We know what's up!)

"You'll do"

Ooooh baby, you're so fine. You're so delicious, I want to make you mine. I'll send you suggestive text messages and proclaim I want to earn your love, but clearly its just talk. Talk, talk, talk... I love how clever I can be. Talk, talk, talk... I'll ask you questions about yourself and somehow relate them to me.

I want you, sexy and I want you to want me. As soon as you do, gorgeous, I'm gone... I got places to be. I will flirt with you and believe I can get a girl like you, but I could never handle a girl like you. You're way too smart and worldly for me. My book-smarts will never be enough, neither will my small apparatus and my even smaller soul. I'll go away before you get a chance to affect my ego.

Oh, sweetheart, aren't you a pretty little dish?! A guy like me would bend you over on one knee and break you like a plate. A guy like me would buy you a drink but dinner... nah, forget about it, its too late. I want something for nothing. I've had enough of gold-digging girls. I want to be selfish, I want everything in return for a tiny gesture, a free shot of vodka and a slice of lemon. I was never bothered learning anything about women.

OK, I'm clueless and I won't even try to know you because I'm a selfish guy and I'm proud of it...it gets me off! You see, I've got simple needs and complex neuroses. I'll let you down if you let me, so don't stick around for more than a "date". I'm full of shit, but that's common, so I sleep well at night. Tell me that I'm "the man" and then go get out of my sight. Besides, there are so many other girls younger and dumber than you. I am not looking for a good woman, just someone good enough to screw.