Woke up this morning quite reluctant to rise from my bed. Sleeping has been a friend to me since I learned to release the complexities of the mind. Lately, my brain has been working over-time but my body is trying to return to a place of rejuvenation. My internal battle propelled me to rise and turn on the morning news to start my daily routine. I was tired but I was fine, then I went below ground and someone put their aggravated energy all over my force field. Being that I was in a weakened state of sleeplessness, I got dragged down into urban desperation once again.
Today, I decided I'd harness this angst of flux and stand up for my future at my agency. After a private "State of the Union" address with a colleague, I marched myself into the Big Boss's office, my boss's boss, and told him I wanted to talk. He told me he'd drop me an e-mail to set up some time. I'm giving him till 2:30 to make that move and then I know I will be forced to strike once again. I feel used. I then told my boss, point blank, "I'm frustrated."
Its not within my nature to coast. I'm talented and ambitious, but maybe a little too adventurous for my own good. I've moved too many times and started my life from scratch once again. I find myself at a disadvantage here because I didn't move sooner. It's not like I can just tell most people that I had a life before New York City, that I tried out other cities before I settled... But, if I don't point out my own potential, nothing will change. I had to take a second job, for Christ's sake, because I'm in a Holding Pattern, but I can't do this for much longer without something dangerous going down. I don't even have time to date, nor the mental energy to do so and that is creating an imbalance in the force. It's now time to pounce!
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