I Knew this Day would Come!

It finally happened. Today was the day that I walked passed him in Port Authority. It was only a matter of time, 10 months since I saw him last. I had been wondering why it hadn't happened yet. Friends of mine had remarked about seeing him in various locations and not reaching out to him out of allegiance. I mean, this city isn't that large. I had told myself that when I eventually saw him, I wouldn't acknowledge him, I'd just keep walking. That's exactly what I did. Of course, it helped that he didn't see me and I had all the power. He probably wouldn't even recognize me anyway. I carry myself differently and I changed my hair. My first inclination was to wave, then my second desire was to smack him across his face, but I pulled off my original plan and at least pretended it didn't bother me. Of course, it did. When love turns to hate, it stings. I won't give him the power to hurt me or make me feel needed anymore. It was January of this year that I started off by saying, "No More."

When I saw him walking the opposite direction, down that East/West crossover tunnel, he looked just the same. He had the exact same fashion-backward jacket on and his hair looked unkempt. He was just as skinny as he always was, with that annoyed "something stuck up his ass" look that he mastered before I even knew him, 11 years ago. He didn't even look handsome like he used to, to me. But, I, on the other hand, am quite happy to report that I look especially fabulous today. On second thought, I wished he would have seen me, so I could have snubbed him to his face. That he didn't see me, well, that took part of the joy out of it away from me. It left me feeling unsatisfied, now I feel remorse again. I moved on, I found somebody else and we share a special bond that he and I never had, but I can't help but get sucked back into mourning. I only have to get through this day. Tonight, I have six friends meeting me for merriment, every single one of them leaves me wanting more instead of feeling depleted, like he did. I will focus on them, but I got to get through this first