ENDOMETRIOSIS & being half a woman (j/k)

I have never before spoken about ENDOMETRIOSIS online... For those of you who don't know about it, it is a fairly common incurable disease which affects an estimated one out of ten women who may never know for sure that they have it unless they have to have surgery. I've been battling with Endometriosis for 30 years. I've done every surgery and hormone therapy that there is and defied the odds by having two beautiful children. Now this disease has worsened and has become a daily struggle, instead of a monthly one. It's affecting my quality of life as it has advanced to the point of binding organs together, so its time to say goodbye to my reproductive tract, once and for all and cut out all the internal scar tissue.

I'm officially scheduled for the procedure on March 1st, however, I have all my pre-surgery hospital clearance taken care of and my surgeon says I have a chance of getting into surgery this week. That's what I REALLY WANT! Hey, It's Flu Season and I'm first on the waiting list, so... It sounds awful and uncharacteristic of me to wish ill upon others, but I could really use a break. Fingers crossed that I get to have the surgery this week!!!

There is great news here: I don't have cancer as I previously feared and I will have no chance of having ovarian cancer in the future. No more periods, hey.... AND....I do have a caring family and a supportive work family. I'm full of confidence in my doctors and I know this is the best course of action. "This too shall pass." I will go on to live a normal life and things will get even better.

There are many things which will be temporarily put on hold like my doctoral work and my career, etc... And even though it's beyond my control, taking an "incomplete" in my current course makes me feel like a failure. On another bright side, I have a supportive professor who will help me see this through. But, I have to take a whole semester off of grad school and 2-4 weeks off of teaching. I love learning and I love teaching and I don't like the reality of putting things on hold. I KNOW... "health comes first" and my feelings of defeat are irrational.

If you read down this far, thanks for listening! I'm oversharing and being highly emotional, but I needed that. Also, to anyone who clicked on a feeling, thanks for caring! XOXO...