At any given moment on any given school day, I am able to look at one of my 7th grade students and know right away that they only have one thing on their brain; sex! As an educator, there is no real competition, sex wins over any subject! I can however try to make the best ethical educational decisions by my students and empathize with their lives.
Let’s face it… biologically, thirteen year olds are walking “hormone bombs” ready to explode at any minute and this has always been the case. In William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Juliet was merely 13 years old when she secretly married and copulated with young Romeo before their mutual suicide debacle. (Source 1) Not much has changed nature-wise since those days, however nurture-wise modern adolescents live completely different lives. In modern times, adolescents are bombarded by sexual images in every waking moment; toys, television, video games, commercials, websites, social networking, peer pressure, magazines, subway ads, clothing, and the list goes on and on and on… James Baldwin said “I am what time, circumstance, history, have made of me, certainly, but I am also, much more than that. So are we all.” Kids today live in an over-sexualized age in which there is literally no escape from confusing and compelling exposure to sex. Thus, the construction of adolescent sexuality is very complex.
Sexual identity in adolescence makes up a major part of the overall identity of most adolescents; for others, it represents a smaller part. Most teens have both private and public sexual identities and both personas constitute sexual identity. Nowadays, even public identities have split because of we lie in the digital age. The sexual identity of an adolescent is neither fixed nor stable, and it generally changes over the course of the teen years and throughout a lifetime. (2) Sexual identity is complex in that it is determined by biological, physiological, psychological and sociological aspects.
Via nature, nurture or chemistry… sexual preferences and sexual-orientation comprise one of many of the aspects of sexual identity. Biologically, the capacity for physical pleasure, sex drive, and the level of physical development change through experience over time. Physiologically, fertility and reproductive aspects also affect sexuality. Contrary to popular belief, orientation is not one and the same as gender roles. These are characteristics and behaviors defined by society and specific cultures as appropriate for members of each sex. Culture, especially popular culture, affects adolescent gender roles and sexual identity directly. Societal beliefs such as spirituality also affect sexual behaviors such as masturbation, intercourse, and a whole range of activities.
Psychologically, self-esteem and how one views one’s self is a huge component of sexual identity. Adolescents are especially susceptible to peer pressure because their public reputation is the central guiding force to their existence. In addition, there is the creative mind or the fantasy life of an individual which also affects desire and desirability. Personality is also a determinant which includes personal style, including how one makes sexual decisions, takes risks, creates adventures, and drives exploitations. Life events including the loss of a parent, friend, or partner fit into the sexual puzzle. Trauma can cause long-term and life-altering affects. (2)
Dr. Sigmund Freud believed that normal human sexual development is frequently checked by parental control and social coercion. (3) As important as relationships with parents, sexual partners and friends in the construction of an adolescent’s sexual identity, Freud could not even begin to imagine the effects which traditional and new media would have upon human sexuality.
Modern sexuality is a more complex subject for all teens because sexual images are everywhere. Frequently, the idea of sex provokes much larger questions about the nature of existence, the meaning of life and other philosophical issues.
Within our age of heightened virtual media exposure, sexual imagery causes real world problems for adolescents. Angst is on backburner because we have way more damaging concerns to contend with. Technology enables body image degradation, teen pregnancy, “sexting” and sexual predators and there are many more issues. Today, the ever presence of human sexuality is at its visible peak! (Pardon the pun.) What to do? What to do? We can’t put our kids in a bubble, so what can we do? Educate them, of course!
Turning a blind eye to the easiness of online sexual predator behavior is not going to work. On June 8th, 2010, the U.S. Senate proclaimed June as “National Internet Safety month,” a nationwide effort to raise public awareness of potential online threats. At the forefront of this effort, Mayor Bloomberg and The Department of Education in partnership with Microsoft produced “Clicking with Caution;” a DVD video series distributed to about 200,000 middle-school students in New York City.(4) One of the four short films on the disk was created to educate adolescents and teenagers against online predators. It’s a riveting film which was produced and created in NYC. Watching it with my students was definitely a step in the right direction.
So, now we have a month dedicated to internet safety that sounds good. There are also available resources to educate students on the dangers of the internet, but then we have new phenomena known as “sexting” and we still have the old school overexposure through traditional media. As Gil Scott Heron says, “The revolution will not be televised, the revolution is live.” Now, more than ever, things are live and instantaneous; we cannot just kill the television and make it all go away! Emerging technologies necessitate new laws to protect adolescents. The issues of sexual misconduct in this arena are so complex, yet there is a lot of gray area on the issues of online child pornography and the new proposed legislation comes dangerously close to Big Brother. New technologies have brought about new ways to get your rocks off and new ways to discover your sexuality, but governing these “private” matters is a public concern when it pertains to children.
While students attempt to construct their sexual identities, educators play a role whether they like it or not. They can, like me, decide to watch warning videos with their students or they can say nothing at all. Either way, an educator is sending a message. Often, I find myself overwhelmed by the sexual curiosity of my students. Ethical decision-making happens in moments. Although, I would like to be honest with my students, I am not quite sure if honesty is the best policy at times, because even though I wasn’t always a teacher, I am now a role model. Both male and female students have asked me for sexual advice and although I would like to have an open dialogue with my kids, I’m afraid to say the wrong thing and lose my job. I can remember what it was like to be in middle school, without mobiles devices and without the internet. Now, I know what it is like to be an adult with access to everything. As an educator, I need to strike a balance and create a safe place for students who are trying to figure it all out.
Bibliography
1. Play: “Romeo and Juliet” William Shakespeare
2. Book: "The Sex Lives of Teenagers” Lynn Ponton, M.D. (2000)
3. Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy: http://www.iep.utm.edu/freud/#H4
4. Press Release: The City of New York Office of the Mayor (June 7, 2010) http://www.scribd.com/doc/32668444/Clicking-With-Caution-press-release
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