Just Say No!

You're not alone, my brother! It is wonderful to hear that after all these years, you started to speak up. That just goes to show, that it's never too late. I created a geographical barrier, but you can set up shields in your front-yard by just saying no. I'm a survivor and I am still angry and I'm a master of creating boundaries. You can build a force-field.

When she says something fucked up... tell her that it is not OK. It is not OK to act that way! Keep reinforcing it, she needs professional help! Tell her that or don't pick up! She calls you 17 times a day to manic out and scream and shout about whatever crisis she is trapped in in that particular moment. Fight back in that moment and then walk away. Let her think about it for a bit... Let her stew... But save yourself! Do a little bit (not a lot) of what I do... Create ground rules...She leans on you because you are sweet and kind and don't want to hurt people. But, standing up for yourself doesn't have to hurt you, it can heal you. She is who she is, but that's not enough!

She sucks the life from you and then for a moment, she will convince you that it is OK. But pity is not helping anyone.... it is a self-destructive force to pity someone. Instead of pity, either take action or turn the other cheek. Take a step back by taking a stand! If you tell her what she doesn't want to hear, then she will back away.

You've started to stand up for yourself. That's a good thing! Keep it up! Holding your tongue all this time could not have been healthy for your tummy. Laughing things off is a talent I've seen you possess, but its not funny anymore, its tragic. As a family unit, we ask you to take the temperature gages... be the eyes and ears but don't regularly immerse yourself in her mess. Just say no! Lean on me...You can't take care of anyone unless you take care of yourself first. I love you!