woke up in the middle of the night and decided to catch up on my correspondence. i'd like to point out that i'm trying to retire nancy as my name, i always disliked it so i quit calling myself by it a few years back. some of my buds and such from way back are resistant to obey my wishes, (but they are somewhat exempt anyway) and recent friends have never known me by anything other than nancella which i do prefer. i'm thinking about legally changing it. aaron would also like me to go through the court system in order to formally document my life transition, but i'm still trying to justify paying the fucking govt to allow me to be myself. the new year looks like its shaping up and i'm really hopeful that a cosmically arbitrary event redirects humans to get back to the important things. new year's eve served as my annual trip and just like last year I enjoyed it on the beach. i guess i'm drawn to the ends of the earth and in my feeble attempt at analyzing my journey, i am realizing that its always better to be part of a unit than a lone cog on the assembly line of futility.