My First Year as a Teacher

My first year as a special education teaching fellow with almost no experience coming into the classroom is drawing to a close and I can definitively say that this year was the hardest one of my life. Before I even set foot in the classroom, I had a vision of what kind of teacher I would be and even though I try and try, I’m at the end of year one and I have so far to go. This year was filled with inquiry, experimentation, frustration, uncertainty, perspiration, disbelief, self-doubt and the kind of exhaustion I’ve never felt before. Although I tried to balance my life with my new responsibilities, there was little space for anything else. With pride for both my accomplishments and defeats, I am relieved that this year is almost over and I am looking forward to metamorphosing into the kind of teacher I had envisioned with each coming year.

Gazing into the microscope of my daily life as a new teaching professional, the light reflects upon social commitment. It is the core value which inspired me to become a teacher in the first place and it is the Long Island University's KEEPS claim in which I will focus this self-examination. Specifically, Social Commitment 1: Students understand their role and responsibility in advocating for equitable and appropriate educational services for children and their families

In the beginning, it started with a leap of faith in a hard economy. I believed I would make a good teacher; an educator who creates a ripple effect, one child at a time. The NYC Teaching Fellows was in agreement and welcomed me into the most select group of Fellows since the program’s inception. It was astonishingly difficult, but I survived the Fellows boot camp and concurrently finished two special education courses. Then, it was time to get a job. The economy was bleak and securing a position was a rollercoaster ride! Out of sheer desperation I accepted the first position I was offered. Instinctually I knew that CHAH was not in line with my vision, but I took the job because I was afraid I wouldn’t get another opportunity.

This “vision” which I refer to is comprised of human and civil rights; it is a combination of resource allocation for teachers, students and the administration alike. Students and teachers should be treated with dignity and compassion, given access to resources that they need, feel empowered, encouraged, and supported by the administration. No one should be setup for failure by not being given access to resources. Both students and teachers require a support system for academic, social and emotional needs. It is also my belief that everyone can and will learn if given access to the right tools. Learning does not come from an out-of-the-box solution and no one should be treated as a number. In the urban reality of NYC, people are dealt a precarious hand of instability and fear. When a student enters the classroom, they deserve consistency, safety and compassion.

While at CHAH, I was crippled; unable to advocate for myself or provide an ethical learning environment for my students and thus I secured a release. Back on that rollercoaster of job uncertainty, but free from an oppressive teaching environment, I met with many schools and qualified each before I landed in an institution inline with my vision, MS51. The comparison of CHAH and MS51 is the yin and yang and schools. As a result of teaching at a dysfunctional school, I don’t take one day of teaching at MS51 for granted. As a 12:1:1 teacher at MS51, I fully understand my role and responsibilities in advocating for impartial and appropriate educational services for children and their families and uphold this claim in many ways.

One way in which I advocate for my students is in regards to related services. Although, my school doesn’t have a full-time Speech, ESL, or School Psychologist and counselors, we do have these professionals available weekly. Working in conjunction with support staff, my students receive the related services that they need. I make sure that all of my students are getting serviced according to their current IEPs. If I feel that they require other related services or changes to existing services, I propose these changes. For example, I felt that two of my students weren’t being properly counseled in a group setting so I altered their IEPs and arranged for individual counseling instead. I also meet with our psychologists and give them updates as per my observation. Another example is when I alerted my support staff and administration of an issue where a student was not in the proper class setting. The staff was extremely receptive, agreed with my decision, facilitated meetings, and reopened the student’s IEP. I did everything within my power to have that student placed in an optimal learning environment. In partnership with my support staff, I gave the parents all the information necessary to make an informed decision but ultimately the parents didn’t want him to change placements because it would mean that he would have had to change schools. These were not the results that I had hoped for, but I did the right thing, my school supported me, and we kept it moving.

Another way in which I support equitable educational services for my students and their families is that I seek out opportunities to educate students inside and outside of the classroom by taking field trips. In a small class setting within a general education school, it’s important that my students not feel stigmatized and so we take field trips with general education classes as well as other special education classes. Some of these trips are based on curriculum and some are just fun and free. More importantly, field trips get kids out into the world and they need that. Most of them do not have the financial means to leave their neighborhoods very often and I partner with other teachers to make this happen. On one instance, I advocated for a trip against another teacher’s wishes because he thought it would lower their standardized test scores. My students may have had one less day of test prep, but they got to go to a farm to explore colonial life and the natural world. In the grand scheme of things, that was an experience that they will remember and take with them.

My role in teaching students with emotional disabilities is never easy. There are moments when it’s so hard that I ask myself why I do it, but then I remember this is quite simple. My role is to be someone whom they trust. Yes, I love teaching curriculum and I’m shocked how much passion I have for teaching math, but the most important thing I can provide for my students is a safe environment filled with compassion, love and understanding. I believed this mission coming into the field and nothing will change my mind. Sometimes I make mistakes and lose my cool, but I always regain my composure, apologize if necessary, and show them love because that’s what they need more than anything! Often, giving love to troubled students means ignoring natural tendencies and not taking what they say personally. My students regularly lash out at me, but that’s because they trust me and know that I won’t hurt them. To deal with the abundance of daily crises I contend with, I seek out opportunities for professional training. I just finished a 6 week Saturday PD called LSCI, Life Space Crisis Intervention, and it has taught me ways to manage challenging situations. Techniques that I learned from LSCI go directly back into my classroom to make me a better teacher and get closer to my goals.

As I continue to develop my teaching identity, I am cultivating experiential learning and formal training. Becoming a master at this craft is one of my truest desires and so I remain flexible and malleable taking in positive feedback as well as constructive criticism. I whittled down some of my initial class rules and selected to remain consistent with the most important ones. It’s a long year and I’m trying my best to pick my battles wisely in respect to the kids and the grownups. My innate adaptability serves me well to improve my teaching and win over allies within the school. Before I was a teacher, I was a team player; I can get along with just about everyone. With the best interest of students in mind, I have drawn more bees into my honeycomb.

Remaining limber and understanding students’ individual needs is the mark of a good teacher. I love children and will do whatever is within my power to protect them. Recently and for the first time this year, I met with my principal for the sole purpose of advocating for a student by raising opposition against another teacher’s actions. The teacher is ostracizing the student and not allowing him to enter his classroom. This is a boy who was abandoned by his mother, has a drug addict father and gets tossed around from relative to relative. He is critically ED, takes medication for anger management and impulse-control, and typically withdraws from classroom work. This is a child who needs to be treated with love and compassion. He trusts me and my classroom paraprofessional and so we get him to do his work. On the other-hand, my colleague is taking the opposite approach, even going as far as to brainwash the other boys in the classroom against this boy. I took a personal day and this teacher took it upon himself to come into my classroom and “observe” this student; in other words, intimidate him.

When I spoke with my principal and told her what was going on, she told me she was relieved that I came to her, that I was doing the right thing by this student and that I share the same views as all the administrators. It is imperative to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. This teacher is now being forced to let the child back into the class and I am encouraging the student to have a positive attitude and make the best of the situation. I can’t work miracles, but I can do my part to support my students. I hope that the frightening budgetary issues facing the DOE will not affect my employment status and I will have the opportunity to continue my mission to be an advocate and to teach the children well.